Thanks for having a little fun and doing the QR code thing! I wish I had a prize for you, but I don't:). Maybe in the future.
There are several ways you can help us...
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Thanks again. Email Me if you have any questions, or would like to know more about helping.
Do you have kids? Do you sit in your closet and secretly read kids books?
Then Nichole's new blog is for you!
She started Readitagainmama.com a few weeks ago to help parents. It is based on the concept of the "read it again" factor. As she reads books to our boys, she reviews the books based on how much they come back to the book and ask her to read it again.
Really she wants to help parents (mom's especially) have fun reading to their children. She wants to introduce new books that will become classics for your family.
I'm sure you've heard someone say that statement. Maybe you've said it yourself.
Growing apart is not God's design in marriage. The foundations that God gives us in marriage are choices. The second foundation is a choice too. It is the choice to...
Have an inseperable togetherness.
Togetherness is the first statement that we see about marriage.
"A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
Jesus seconded that togetherness was a foundation of marriage.
He [Jesus] answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:4-6).
It was right after this statement, his disciples were amazed and said, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry."
If togetherness just happens, then there would be no reason to think that it would be better for two to remain two instead of becoming one. Togetherness is work. The physical act of sex is the symbol of togetherness and sex is easy. Two becoming one is a daily conscience decision that both people have to make. For sex to be the climax of two lives becoming one, the decision for togetherness must be made.
God has and is bringing you together as one. No one can tear this apart, not even you. If you try, it will be like tearing apart two pieces of paper that are glued together. It is messy and hurts the paper.
Husbands, when you come home, do you permanently dwell in your "man cave?" You can dwell in your man cave without having a man cave. You can check out behind the paper, TV, hobby or internet. Sure, we need our down time. But our spouses and families need us to engage.
Wives, do you allow the daily necessities of running a family to shield you from building unity with your husband? Yes, laundry needs to be washed, meals need to be cooked, butts need to be wiped, but these cannot be the wall in which we hide behind to disengage from our husbands.
What are you doing in your marriage to build unity? How much time do you spend talking together? When you talk to others about your spouse, are you building them up or tearing them down? Do you pray for and with your spouse? As you take care of specific tasks that is required in your home (laundry, meals, finances, etc), do you seek ways to accomplish more together than as one?
In Real Life... What is one thing that you can do (that you are not doing now) that will build your unity?
If you polled people off the street and asked them, "What is the most important aspect of marriage?," what would they say?
My guess would be that they would say something like, "Well, the two people should love each other."
If you then followed up that answer with, "What is love?," you would receive a lot of nebulous answers. We all love love, but none of us really know what it means.
Paul dealt with that in 1 Corinthians. He was just trying to get that church to love each other despite their natural differences. It was in the middle of this teaching that we have what we now consider to be the "love chapter." This chapter is one of the shortest in the New Testament and gives us the clearest picture of what love is.
He first tells us what type of people we are if we don't have love.
You could be someone who has all the giftings and abilities and talents in the world. You could give away everything you have. If you don't have love, you are, at best, a loud noise to people. At worst, to others, you are nothing. When you don't love your spouse, when you talk, you are just a loud noise. Without love, you become nothing to your own spouse.
Ouch.
Then Paul describes what love is and is not...
Love is...
Patient
Kind
Someone who rejoices with the truth
Bears all things
Believes all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things.
Love isn't...
Envious
Boastful
Arrogant
Rude
Insistent in its own way
Irritable
Resentful
Someone who rejoices when someone else fails.
If you were to define love as simple as possible, how would you do it? Love is...
Sacrifice.
The first person is sacrifices themselves for others. The second person worries more about themselves than others. You know a person characterized by the second list. Their lives are not that important to you are they? When they talk, all your hear is noise, right?
Think about Love Is Sacrifice through the framework of the entire Bible, and especially the Gospels. Does this not characterize what love really is? Didn't Jesus define love this way?
Love isn't a gooey emotion. Love is sacrifice. It is a day-in, day-out choice to sacrifice yourself for your spouse. In fact, it is the everyday that is so difficult. We'd rather take a bullet for someone than sacrifice for them everyday.
But, when you sacrifice yourself for your spouse, you gain influence. When you sacrifice yourself for your spouse, they don't hear just noise coming from your mouth. You have real impact in their lives.
In Real Life... How can you sacrifice yourself for your spouse in the next 24 hours?
I've spoken to other ministers who would rather do a funeral to a wedding.
Maybe it is because they think it is one in the same.
I enjoy doing weddings. Not because of the wedding, but because of everything leading up to it. I get the chance to spend three sessions with them instilling into them what God says about marriage and how they are to live inside this relationship.
Following the post on Real Marriage, I wanted to give overviews of the three sessions I go through. I don't really remember how it all came about in my mind, but I've landed on three concepts that are foundational to marriage. These are not my ideas, but three core components that God gave us.
If we can focus on three words and spend the rest of our lives trying to live out these three words, our marriages will be intimate.
**There is an affiliate link for Real Marrige. I try and turn the content on this blog into food for my family. Thanks for understanding and supporting.**
Marriage is supposed to be the one relationship where you can be you. You in all your strengths, weaknesses and sin. You without the worry of judgement from others. You naked. No, not literally, but the figurative aspect of being able to bear all without judgement. This is how God intended it from the very beginning.
The stories the Driscoll's tell are heartbreaking because so many marriages never find this level of intimacy. So many people are dazed and confused. They are numb because their marriage is broken and they don't know what to do about it.
The Driscoll's wrote this book to help. To show people that there will be struggles, but there is hope, tremendous hope, to work through every struggle. They pull back the curtain into their own marriage and personal lives. They pull back the curtain to a level that is somewhat uncomfortable. They show that even for them, people that God has done so much with, things are far from perfect, and God is working inside of them as well. They are not theologians telling us things about marriage that have no application to real life. They are real life practitioners trying to take the theology and work it into their lives.
They answer so many helpful questions for couples, but the most important thing they give in this book is...
Husbands and wives should first be friends.
That isn't exactly novel, but in their research, they saw nothing written about it.
It got me to thinking, "How good is Nichole and my friendship?"
This question has to be something we are continually wrestling with. We can call our spouse our friend, but is that really just a front to cover for our struggles?
Turned practical, what is something you do in order to ensure deeper friendship with your spouse?
I give the book 4 (out of 5) stars.
**Just to let you know, I did receive this book as a preview copy from Thomas Nelson Publishers through their BookSneeze program. I am required to review it. I am not required to give a positive review. Also, the link above is an affiliate link. Any link like this will help turn what I do here into food for my family.**
Okay, I set out on this venture because of specific things that God did to show that he wanted me to do this. As I have continued, what I have in my mind and what I believe God has placed on my heart has grown. To the point where I can't keep up without a break. Part of it is my schedule in the new year has been crazy. Part of it is that I started with little strategy, now as it has grown, I need a better strategy--well, a strategy to begin with.
So, I know I'm in the middle of a series, but I'm going to hit pause so that what is produced has quality. Not only that, but this is one strategy in the grand scheme of where God is leading. So soon, I'll be rolling that out and this content will be a part of it.
Thanks for your patience and I get squared away in this new year!
Jesus has set the backdrop. God is the Master Vineyard Keeper. Jesus is the Vine. We are the branches. Authentic lives produce fruit. Fake lives get thrown out. Our lives must not only look good, but also taste good. There must be a tangible difference to our lives.
But how?
"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me" (John 15:4)
How do we have an authentic, successful life in God's Kingdom?
Abide, reside, dwell, remain, make a permanent residence in Jesus.
Our temptation is to visit Jesus. Show up at his house. Drink coffee. Sit on his couch. Talk for a while. Leave. Live however you want.
Jesus calls us to make him your permanent home.
Then Jesus says that if we abide in him, he will abide in us. He will take up a permanent dwelling place with us. This is an amazing promise of Jesus. It is from this promise that our entire life flows.
For Jesus, everything flowed from dwelling with the Father and the Father dwelling with him. His Father's will was all that mattered. The only way for him to know God's will was to dwell in him. He did things that made no sense and it was because his relationship with the Father. For example, his ministry was going really well in one area. After a time of prayer with his Father, Jesus told his disciples it was time to move to another area. Man's wisdom would say, "Stay here, ride out the wave." Even his disciples gave him that advice. God said, "It's time to move." Jesus knew when to move because of dwelling in his Father (Mark 1:35-39).
This has to be the success we are chasing. The success of remaining in Christ. Where everyday we get up and have one job description on our mind, "Make my permanent residence in Christ today." Let our fruit flow out of that. This truth is designed to set us free. Our culture says it is all about success. To be somebody, we must produce. If we are not producing, we are not worthy. It isn't about being worthy or producing. Our success is dwelling with God himself.
Jesus says that if you're dwelling in him, fruit will naturally be produced. He even says it will be produced in abundance. But what happens when you are in the middle of a fruit drought? Doubts start to set in. You might think that you aren't a part of the Vine. The temptation is to struggle and fight to show your worth.
Let this be a freeing reminder. Jesus told us that there will be times of pruning.
What if you find yourself in the middle of a pruning time?
Lean into it. Remember that our success is found in taking up permanent residence in Jesus, not producing fruit. Every person who finds success in God's Kingdom will go through pruning. If you see someone going through a time of fruit production, ask them about their pruning. 9 out of 10 times, they will have a pruning story. Use their story to remind you that Jesus' promised a day where fruit would be abundant. Use that as motivation for perseverance. Get up everyday seeking to make your dwelling place with Jesus, not figuring out how you can produce fruit.
Because in the end, 15:5 tells us the importance of leaning into a time of pruning.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).
A branches' success is only in staying on the vine. You will never see a branch lie on the ground ten feet from the vine and start sprouting grapes. Everything essential to the branch flows through the vine. The vine keeper makes the conditions right. The vine is the conduit by which all the nutrients for life flow. The branch sits there and produces fruit because of the relationship it has with the vine.
When we have success, we can start to think that we are the ones producing fruit. God in his infinite wisdom takes us through a time where the only thing we can do is remain in Jesus. It isn't until we see Jesus as our everything that we will remain in him. We may visit, but we won't remain.
We all can trade knowing Jesus for appearing to know him. Jesus was tempted to trade knowing God and his will for appearing to know God. Every one of us will have this same temptation. Living a fake life may fool everyone around us. It won't fool the Master Vineyard Keeper.
"If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned" (15:6)
Jesus keeps coming back to warn us of the temptation of appearing to know him, but not truly knowing him. No disciple, even Judas thought he was Jesus' betrayer. This reminder keeps us honest. Instead of assuming we are okay, we must take this into consideration. We have to wrestle with this reality. Some people look good and aren't. Is that me?
Imagine living each and every day with one job description. It isn't how much fruit you produce. It isn't if you are worthy to be with God. Our job description is simple. Permanently reside in Jesus. Through this, everything we need in life flows.
We are only a few days into our #N90T reading. What is God showing you through the life of Jesus?
God has given us opportunity, but what does opportunity have anything to do with success?
You could say that success is finding opportunities and taking advantage of them.
Or, more simply.
Success is seeing and seizing opportunities.
Okay, but what's the opportunity?
"Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you" (John 15:2-3).
Do you see it? The opportunity is to be a branch on the Vine in the vineyard of the Master Vineyard Keeper.
Okay, so, unless you live around a vineyard, maybe that isn't so appealing.
Let me put it another way.
We can have a life where everything we need for growth is given through a perfect conduit. On top of that, we are taken care of by Someone who creates the perfect conditions and knows exactly what they're doing.
But first, we do have to look at a reality of a vineyard. There are branches who do not produce fruit. These branches get cut off from the vine. In today's world, success is such a god that if we can do anything to achieve. You see this all the time in sports. Steroids in baseball (okay, more than baseball, but they got most of the headlines). Firing coaches because they don't win immediately. You see this in schools. The pressure to succeed is so great that course work is piled on. In business, if results are not found immediately, heads will roll.
We expect this from our culture, but to see Jesus himself saying that we will be cut off if we don't produce, well, it may be a little hard to handle. Just remember the backdrop to the illustration. God is the Master Vineyard Keeper. He created an environment growth should have been easy. In the past, the people did not take the opportunity presented to them and they ended up looking good on the outside, but the inside was sour. Branches that get cut off are those that look good. They look like they should produce fruit, but they don't.
The disciples saw this in action one day. Jesus went up to a fig tree that looked like it should have figs. He was hungry and wanted figs. The fig tree had no figs. He cursed the fig tree. The next day, when they walked passed the fig tree, the disciples were amazed that the fig tree was all withered. What is this about? Is Jesus just a hungry, cranky man? No. He had just dealt with the Pharisees. People who tried hard to look good on the outside, but were in reality fruitless. Then he met this poor fig tree that had the same problem. Looked good on the outside, but fruitless in reality. I'm sure he would have loved to do that same thing to the Pharisees, but the fig tree got it instead (Matthew 21:18-22; Mark 11:12-14, 20-25).
People who get cut off think they are fine because of their blood line, heritage, upbringing, church background, ministry or the prayer they prayed. It is all about what they do. Them sitting there and looking pretty is their job description. The religious leaders of Jesus' day is the prime example of this. Also, Judas is a good example too. He looked good--followed Jesus around for three years. He had an important job--kept Jesus' money. And he could make things look spiritual--he suggested money should be given to the poor. In the end, the inside was sour and he betrayed Jesus.
On the other hand, we have people who do produce fruit. These people are authentic. The disciples are examples of this type of life. But notice where Jesus decides to put his focus. He says that because they produce fruit they will be pruned. The disciples' lives were about ready to go through a pruning. They had found early fruit, but things were getting difficult. In a matter of hours, they would all run away and one would outright deny that he knew Jesus.
Pruning is cleansing to a vine. It gets rid of the stuff that gets in the way of producing fruit. The same with spiritual pruning. It is the words of Jesus that prunes or cleanses us. When we compare ourselves to his words, we find ourselves lacking and in need of spiritual surgery. The Christian life is not always an upward trending life. It has dips, valleys, even CLIFFS! There will be serious set backs. In fact, when you are a branch, pruning feels like being cut off.
Pruning is hard for a vine. I've been through a recent pruning process. God is removing the stuff that gets in the way of fruit production. It has been a long process. It has been a hard process. It has been a necessary process. I know that one day, fruit will again be produced. It will be produced in a greater amount than before.
How do you know if you're being pruned or cut off? We will look at more ways to tell, but the first, easiest way...is there any glimmer of fruit in your life?
Jesus wants to make it clear that the conditions are perfect. Jesus wants his disciples to be left wondering, "How do we not end up being fake? How do we take the opportunity and be authentic? We don't want to be like those who claim to know God, but don't. We want it all to make a visible difference in our lives."
How about you? Do you want success in God's Kingdom? Do you want your life to have a visible difference?
We are starting our #N90T reading this week. It is not too late to join in!
Imagine you have just sat down with your spouse. The kids are in bed. You worked hard all day. Putting your feet up and sipping your favorite late night beverage (mine is coffee) is relaxing. A big bunch of grapes were bought today at the store. Pandora, with your favorite soothing channel, is playing in the background. You grab the first plump, perfect grape. Pop it into your mouth.
Then...
Your lips pucker. Not because you're going to kiss your spouse, but that perfect looking grape was completely rotten and sour. The fruit looked good, but it was really worthless.
This is the image God uses often in the Old Testament for his people, Israel. He planted them in a land. He cleared away everything that would choke them out. He made everything perfect for them to flourish. Instead of flourishing, they withered. He was the Master Vineyard Keeper. He cared for the vines. He gave them the perfect conditions for success. They failed to take advantage of what God gave to them.
Fast forward to Jesus' day. Jesus used the image of a vine and vineyard a lot. Including the last time he was with his disciples. He and his disciples had just ate the Last Supper. Judas was dismissed to go betray Jesus. Jesus and the other 11 disciples left the room to go to the Garden where Jesus would be arrested. While on the way, Jesus took the opportunity to give one last teaching to them. This was the most important stuff. The stuff they had to understand.
Right at the climax of this teaching (John 13-17) is John 15, Jesus' Parable of the Vine. He starts off saying, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser" (15:1). He ties himself and his Father to the Old Testament image of vineyard. The Father still is the Master Vineyard Keeper. Instead of planting a nation, the Father planted a Person. The Father planted his Son, Jesus, as the Vine. The conditions are perfect. The Vine is perfect. The opportunity is great. What would they do with the opportunity?
Jesus wanted the disciples to learn from their forefathers. He wanted them to learn from those who looked good, but are really sour on the inside. Not only were these people in history, but they were making history by getting ready to arrest Jesus. He had already told these fakers they were missing the opportunity of a lifetime by telling a different parable about a vineyard (Matthew 21:33-46). In this story, a man created a great vineyard. He then sent messengers to tell the people who were supposed to recognize great opportunities when they see it. Instead of seeing the opportunity, they seized the messengers. All of them. Beat them. Killed them. Including the vineyard owner's son. The fakers got it. They got mad.
God has given us an opportunity. He has a vineyard. The conditions are perfect. The Vine that he has planted is perfect. Will we take the opportunity? John 15 is about finding and taking the opportunity.
We are starting our #N90T reading this week. It is not too late to join in!
, I wanted to give overviews of the three sessions I go through. I don't really remember how it all came about in my mind, but I've landed on three concepts that are foundational to marriage. These are not my ideas, but three core components that God gave us.
